Spiral Choice
by Hiasobi
Summary: It shouldn't be so hard. [nejihinanaru, sasunaru] The one thing Hinata has never failed at is loving.


**Title:** Spiral Choice  
**Summery:** It shouldn't be so hard. nejihinanaru, sasunaru  
**Rating:** PG13

* * *

Hinata loved Naruto but married Neji. She fell in love with the blonde first but duty and her Clan demanded she marry Neji.

Neji had adored, hated, and then respected Hinata through the years of their lives. He had agreed with the marriage because it had been Hinata who asked him to accept. He had thought he could make the marriage work, they both respected each other and had the same goal, he thought they would be content.

Naruto had never been extremely fast on the uptake. It took him years to understand that Hinata liked him more than just a regular friend. It took him longer before he received the metaphysical punch in the gut that knocked the air out of him as he realized Hinata _loved_ him.

**. : - : .**

Hinata is many things: shy, insecure, prone to blushing, but one thing Hinata has never failed at is _loving_. She loves her family when things are good, and she loves her family when things are bad. She loves her _Clan_ because they are all the same blood; they are her family, even when they don't want or understand her at all. Hinata understands her duty to her Clan and she bears the weight willing.

Neji had been wrong. They were content, the marriage did work out. But then he fell in love with her. Or maybe he has always been in love with her and he hadn't realized it until far into the marriage - hadn't let himself realize it. Now he is no longer happy to be content. Now he wants them to be _happy_.

Naruto had chased after Sasuke for many years, it had been his driving goal, his dream: Team 7, together again, training, bickering, laughing, and living. But life throws many curve balls and even when Sasuke comes back, Naruto realizes that those genin days are behind them. Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura have become _famous_, a Legendary Trio. And things can never go back.

**. : - : .**

Hinata bears the name of Hyuuga quietly. She had been born into this role after all, no matter how frequently some had thought it a sad misfortune. She does not stand up often to take a defensive when others will talk behind her back of her lack of talents, but instead steadily continues to carry the burden. This is her Clan, no matter what anyone might say. It is up to her to protect them, even from themselves, even if they would not protect her.

Neji becomes a very attentive husband. He grows, years down the line when he already should have, into the emotionally the mature adult he is supposed to be. He finally realizes that some things can't be changed, but others can. His love for his wife is an element of both: he can't change the fact he loves her, but he can change the fact that she isn't in love with him.

Naruto didn't know the gift he had until it had gone away from him. Years later Sasuke is slowly being accepted as a trustworthy Leaf ninja again and the two of them meet with Sakura and Kakashi-sensei to train or complete missions everyday. It's just like the old times. But things are different. He now realizes that he has their acknowledgement and that people actually _believe_ he's going to become the Hokage, that it's a given _fact_.

Now that he has the acknowledgement he had spent his whole life wanting, the next step was to find love. Because eventually all he wanted was what others had taken for granted: family, laughter, friends, company, love and acknowledgement. He understands there are different kinds of love; he wants people, someone, to love him for himself, to be happy with him, to be together in love. And the notion comes too late because Hinata loved him, _loves him_, unconditionally but it's too late. She's married to Neji and they're both his friends, he can't hurt them. Also there is the fact that Hinata loves her Clan, and she always loves unconditionally, she would never break her duties to her family.

**. : - : .**

Hinata might not rise up and demand what she wants but that doesn't mean she is going to roll over and let the Elders dictate everything she or the Clan does. 5 years under her reign others are finally standing up and taking notice. Her generation snort in contempt at the surprise the elders exhibit, _they_ had chosen to follow her for a reason, if the older ones hadn't understood and still appointed her Head simply because she was born first without seeing her core of strength, then the previous generation needed to reevaluate their priorities and to start opening their eyes.

Neji is seen as the power behind the figurehead, that was why they joined him with Hinata after all. Neji had the bloodline, the talent, and the power - his biggest problem had been that he was not of the Main House. They had placed him there so that others perceived Hinata as the Head Hyuuga but Neji would be the one making the decisions. Years later Neji wonders when they are going to realize that he was the figurehead and Hinata was the one making the decisions.

They are still young, too young to have been married for so long, but they had married in their teens. Now barely two-decades-and-a-half Naruto's heart aches when he sees them. They're only in their early twenties, all of them, but moving on from the teenage years seems to have also mandated moving on from some of the teenage illusions that he hadn't been ready for. He had never been very fast in the emotions and epiphanies department, but now he can't help but be sensitive where the two of them are concerned. He sees the love in Neji's eyes clearly, but he always has, that was why he hadn't been surprised when they had announced they were going to get married, congratulating them on the fortune of having the Clan accept the notion, only surprised that other people had been shocked.

He had never thought about Hinata's affections, simply because she always seemed to love her family, and always loved Neji. Full stop. She loved Neji. That was it. The end. No elaboration or nitpicking. Hinata loves unconditionally, not that it meant blindly, and she has always loved Neji, even when he had been beating her down in front of her peers at the Chuunin Exam. That was why it had been the hardest to watch. His heart aches and he wants to close his eyes but he's learned running away does nothing, crying would not change anything, and silently raging against the world doesn't work - he tried that with Sasuke. So he picks up his guts, gathers his courage, and charges in with all the bullheadedness he is known for. Even if he moves on later he needs to tell Hinata his feelings. She deserves to know someone loved her.

**. : - : .**

Long into their friendship Hinata isn't sure what to expect, but it certainly wasn't this. When she had finally found that strength she had always wanted in herself, she now lives proudly of what she can do. Then Naruto whom she would always love but had given up on the idea of the love being recuperated, pulls her away and confesses to her one day. Not that he had a crush on her, or assuring her it was something that would come to pass, but that he loves her; deep and meaningful and she deserves to know even if she would not be able to return it. She is shocked, exhilarated, saddened, and confused about why it had to happen now instead of back when they would have been free to act on it. The emotions are compounded when Neji found out, there was no question that he wouldn't, and corners her to make his own desperate pleading confession.

Neji is in turmoil, he is angry and sad and scared. He had thought he had time, the rest of their lives, and he had never thought that the revelation would come from that corner: Naruto confessing to Hinata about his feelings instead of the other way around. Neji is angry, because for some reason he had pushed that possibility away, and scared, because Hinata had always admired the brash idiot and there is no doubt in his mind who she would choose if she had been free to. So he works frantically with soft words, tender actions, tiny significant gifts and hopes that his intensity, and duty, will keep her with him.

Naruto hadn't meant to hurt his friend, but holding onto that truth wasn't something Naruto could have done. To let the love spark, flourish, then a die silent and unknown death was too cruel a fate. It might have been the kinder option, but he wasn't sure. Neji now drifts through his days with an underlying desperate air, and Naruto wants to shout why does no one notice but him? Naruto has already resigned himself to his fate, Hinata was married after all and she had her Clan to think about. There was no possibility that Hinata would walk away from her marriage, so why did Neji constantly look like a man who was about to get his heart broken?

**. : - : .**

She shouldn't have to make this choice. And in all honesty, she can't. It wouldn't be fair to any of them. If she chose Neji, Naruto-kun would smile that sad, sad smile that he did when he had confessed, that said he had known that the future was futile. If she chose Naruto, Neji would look away and then try painfully to allow her to be happy while telling himself bitterly that it had been inevitable. If she chose for herself...she isn't sure what she would choose. The years had changed things, getting married and leading her Clan changed things, and Naruto's future appointment as Hokage changed things. Really, she fell in love with Naruto first but that didn't mean she didn't love Neji. In the end she could have walked away from her Clan because they wouldn't try too hard to stop her but she can't walk away from Neji. Not when he loves her too. They're both in love with her and she loves them both. Is there even a choice?

Neji had never been a demonstrative person, but given that he has already confessed and with a unclear timeline that hung over his head, he whispers endearings frantically, holds her to him tight when the moments allow, and makes love with her intensely now that the chains on his emotions have been removed. He sees her soft drowsy expressions first thing in the morning, her gentle grateful smiles during the day, her glassy love-filled eyes when he moves against her, and he pities all the men who had never had the chance to see her like that but he would kill them all if they took her away from him.

Naruto wants to scream that it wasn't supposed to be like this. Hinata wasn't supposed to be in pain, Neji isn't supposed to be hurt, and he isn't supposed to have this chance. He thought he had lost it a long time ago when he had been too stupid to notice. They called him the most surprising ninja but in truth that was Hinata. She was the one who always surprised people most at the most important times: refusing to stay down during the Chuunin exam, forgiving Neji when everyone else condemned his actions, ascending to Clan Head when others had thought she would have given up a long time ago, leading her people forward with the clearest vision anyone could remember, still loving the men in her life when others would think it to be impossible. Hinata loves Neji but the light in her eyes are all too clear when she stares at him. Hinata still loves him, loves Naruto, and as wrong as the notion seems to be, Naruto isn't going to let this gift slip through his fingers again.

**. : - : .**

They live their days on a delicate balance. All the declarations have been made on the male side and Hinata's feelings are all too clear to both the men. She gets frustrated, because they can't move from here, not unless one of the males backs down, but they won't. Naruto is too hardheaded and stubbornly chases after what he wants; Neji has tunnel vision and refuses to consider other options. Hinata is too soft hearted; she can't hurt either of them purposefully when she knows the future is there between them, bright and wonderful. So she lives her days at the Clan, spends the unexpected free afternoons with Naruto, and comes back to be taken possessively into Neji's embrace. It's hurting all three of them, but none can let go.

Neji slips between terror and anger. Terrified that one day, one afternoon with Naruto is going to tip the scale and Hinata might come back to him at the end of the day but her heart would be beyond his reach. The time passes by agonizingly slow and much too fast on alternating instances. When he is stuck in a meeting and Hinata finishes her work first, he won't be there to accompany her into the village but someone else will. When she lays complacent and content in his arms at night, her breath soft and steady, her skin a shimmering ethereal tone that the dawn erases as it comes too quickly. Dread fills him on the inside but life goes on and he forces himself carry on. Days pass into weeks into months, and somehow the pressure inside slowly lightens as Hinata is still looking at him with the blazing light of her love shining in her eyes.

Naruto slipped into a routine, train with his team in the morning, complete missions and spend time with his precious people in the afternoon, spar with Sasuke in the early evening, go home to rest and repeat. He finds that the normality isn't so bad for him; it brings him peace at the end of the day even if during the times of the catastrophes in the daylight it seemed impossible. He sees Hinata regularly, and their love reaching out and intertwining together is such an awesome thing, even if it is just lightly holding hands as they walk down the riverside or carrying her grocery bags as he walks her home. Neji is slowly unwinding from the taut, too stretched feeling and is calm when they see each other. Because beyond companions for Hinata's love, they are friends. Neji vowed to change the Hyuuga and Naruto promised to help him. Hinata relaxes now that the two of them aren't locking wounded, bitter gazes. Soon though, Naruto is seeing another possibility.

**. : - : .**

Hinata sees it first, what Naruto is planning, even while he himself is confused with a only a half-formed plan that haunts his nights. She stills and doesn't take it upon herself to say anything, because the decision has to come from the two of them. She's not going to push either of them, but it would be so great if they all could be happy together. She bits her lip and hopes.

Neji traces a gentle finger down the line of Hinata's cheek and watches her look at him through her bangs. Recently there's been a subtle change in the air, like Hinata was waiting for something, an event to happen. Not a bad one either. She seems hopeful, even while she tries to squash the feeling down. He has always been able to read her best, even the things she tries to hide from herself. Recently Naruto has come around to hang out. He started to remember all the things that made Naruto uniquely Naruto, and the points that allowed them to get along so well. Maybe in another time and place he wouldn't have minded Naruto picking Hinata because Naruto is one of the best people Neji knows, and one of his best friends and a most precious person. Maybe in another time and place it would have worked out, but this was different. Hinata was already tied to him, and Neji can't give her back. Maybe in a place when he wouldn't have known what he would be missing, it would have been all right.

Naruto had a whole speech planned out with elaborate explanations and reasoning. He had rehearsed it over and over again and even made small cheat notes on his inner wrists just in case, but when the time comes Naruto is Naruto and he charges ahead sometimes surprising even himself. He manages to get Neji alone and relaxed, the perfect atmosphere to present his cases, but then he thinks about all the long words and tricky pronunciations he has had to rehearse so many times over and just gave it all up, it was too much of a hassle. He calls Neji's name and when the man turns to face him from his pose of leaning back against the wall to watch the blue sky, he reaches out and grabs fistfuls of his shirt. Neji has one moment to be surprised before Naruto meshes their lips together. To say Neji was shocked was one thing, but Naruto pulls back before the other man reacts. Hinata loves Naruto and Neji, Naruto loves Hinata and Neji is one of his precious people, Neji loves Hinata and Naruto is one his precious people. So Naruto can't see why this has to be so hard, he states flatly, still holding onto Neji's shirt. Neji is pensive but then nods jerkily; he can't see why it has to be so hard either.

Naruto is filled with joy and he laughs, he lets his love and exhilaration fill him and spill over, brightening his eyes and letting his body shine. They're going to be _happy_. Neji's lips twitch into an amused smile and indulge him. Naruto floats on Cloud Nine, tangling up in the silver lining, wrapping his form in the fluffy warmth, and immerging himself in the sun's warm rays.

It isn't until he gets home and surprising him Sasuke is inside his living room, spine straight, body proud, and announces that he is in love with Naruto, that he wants to slam his head to the wall in frustration.


End file.
